Alana: Waiting

It was a couple of weeks after school had ended. In two months Allan was going to sixth grade, I can’t believe he didn’t get left behind again, and was celebrating organizing a sleepover on the phone with Daniel; I was going to be a seventh grader, which meant a new style of uniform, and was celebrating reading the works of Benito Pérez Galdós. I hoped that Doña Perfecta was less frustrating than the end of Marienela, having grown up with a blind person made me call foul on it at the end. It was then that our mother told us that our grandmother was undergoing an operation this weekend to see if her eyesight could be saved at all. We didn’t know what to say about that.

On the day of the operation I was sitting on that waiting room along side my mother, brother and aunt. Us children were technically not supposed to be there since we were under 13, but there was nobody to take care of us so “the family that lies together grows together” and we were now waiting together for the results. Grandmother had been hours waiting to get operated and we didn’t knew where things stood.

 

I opened my book, I tried to read it, I closed the book. My brother was having

a similar experience with his gameboy. He tried to hide it, being older and male made him think he had to be the tough one, but it was no use.

 

Last time we were in an operation room I was partially responsible and it was my brother who had been under the doctor’s care. We were jumping on the bed, 5 and 4 years old respectively. He pushed me, I pushed him, he pushed me harder, so I pushed him even harder and his head went through the glass window. He survived, obviously, but with a lightning scar on his neck and not without a good scare for both of us. Since then being in a hospital has just stressed me out and I bet this is no cakewalk for him.

 

Allan laid down on my lap, looking for comfort and a good place to nap. I played with his hair, lulling him to sleep, and tried to take the gameboy from his pocket. He grabbed my hand and opened his eyes; I smiled, pleading for permission to take it. He sat up for a moment and handed it to me with a cassette.

 

He laid back on my lap trying to nap. “If you use all of the battery life you owe me new ones.”

 

“Yay, tetris.” was all I said.

 

“God, you are weird.”

 

After a while of playing, the doctor came out and called the adults. I saw my mother grimacing and my aunt crying. I didn’t need to hear to know the operation had failed in some way. The doctor left and the adults were now looking at each other.

 

“Mom won’t be able to stay at her house.” mother said. “She was already getting too old to be completely by herself. Now she won’t be able to walk two steps without falling.”

 

“I can’t bring her home though. I’m having a kid soon, I can’t take care of mom on top!” Aunt Lucy touched her enormous belly, making a point.

Great. Let the bickering commence.

 

“But your house is the best for it.” My mother raised her right hand getting ready to number her points. “You have an extra room, which we don’t, and it’s the same layout as mom’s, making it easier for her to adapt. Also, you have a husband to help you.”

 

“You have Allan and Alana.”

 

“Doesn’t count, they’re kids!”

 

“And my husband is a fireman. He’s barely home as it is.”

 

“I’ll do it!” I shouted exasperated.

 

Both women turned to the angry kid glaring at them.

 

“You’ll do what, honey?” asked mother.

 

“I’ll move in with grandma, so you two can just shut it.”

 

The sisters had a look of surprise, but with different feelings about the idea.

 

Aunt Lucy clapped her hands together. “That’s a great idea!”

 

“Oh, I bet you think so.” I watched as mother placed her hands akimbo, clearly mad at her sister. “I’m not giving up my child.”

 

“Alana is a responsible and smart girl, and it will be easier for mother to stay at her own house. It is the best option of all.”

 

“Anything but your house.”

 

“Anything but yours either.”

 

I sighed. I loved them both, but they could be aggravating at times. “Mom, I’ve decided and it is for the best. It’s better than to fight in a hospital, I’m sure grandma, the woman who is now completely blind, will appreciate it too.”

 

“But I’ll miss you honey.” was all mother could say in surrender. I shook her head and went back to tetris.

 

We all went to eat burgers at the fast food in front of the hospital. Lucy opted for a double cheese burger while mother choose a salad since, as she said in an acidic tone, “she gotta remain slim”. Allan and me could just have died at that moment.

 

Afterwards, it wasn’t any better. The two adults refused to talk or even look at each other, it was like being with children. This is usually fun, but this was not a little problem we were having. I tried my best to get them to talk, but Allan told me it was best to desist. It was useless to reason with them whenever they got like that. It was pretty frustrating this time.

 

By the time we got back we could visit grandmother one at a time. I asked if I could go first by myself, the rest the family accepted, even my mother.

 

I entered the room in silence. Grandmother laid on the bed, bandages on her eyes. She seemed unaware of the presence of her granddaughter that moved closer to her bed until I grabbed her hand. That action startled her.

 

“Who is this?”

 

“It’s me, grandma. Alana.”

 

Grandmother smiled and looked for my head. She touched my hair and face, pinching my cheek. Finally she moved my head closer, kissed me and said

 

“Oh. How are you dear?”

 

“I’m good grandma. How are you?”

 

“Oh. I’m fine. Alive at least.” She was now rocking softly in place. “Just praying to God for guidance. He always provides.”

 

“I’m sure he does.” I held my tongue when it came to the rest of the comment. This wasn’t the moment to point out that for all her prayer through the years for her eyes, she had just become worst.

 

“It’s kinda sad that I won’t see at all the wonderful people my grandkids will become, but the lord at least has allowed me to live it, and that is more important.”

 

“You know grandma” I tried to change the topic to the matter at hand. “Mom and aunt Lucy were arguing over what you should do now that you are like this.”

 

Her face now peeked with interest. “They did?”

 

“Yeah. You know them. It was like that time with the doll, or the boyfriend, or the purse. They were arguing over who got to keep you. Lots of bickering and me, me, me.”

 

“Geez, don’t I get a say?”

 

I giggled a bit. “Well, you know them. I actually had to break up the fight proposing a juste-milieu, if you will?”

 

“A what now?” grandmother said with an eyebrow raised. She didn’t seem to like or understand the sound of that.

 

I took her shaky hands and squeezed them. “Juste-millieu. I think it’s supposed to mean a middle ground, grandma. In this case an option that would keep them from arguing.”

 

“Ah. And what is that?”

 

“That I move in with you when you get out of here.”

 

Grandmother was speechless. She seemed so small for a moment. After all this time, she hadn’t expected that from anybody.

 

“Oh. But it must be boring and... and... “uncool”, as the kids say, to live

with a blind old lady in an old house.”

 

I patted her head and said “It’s ok grandma. I’m already boring and uncool.

 

You can ask Allan if you don’t believe me. We’ll have lots of boring fun and you won’t be alone anymore.”

 

Grandmother wrapped her arms around me and started to cry. She was thanking God and praying. Seeing her that happy made all regrets vanish from my mind. This might not be so bad after all.

Alana: In my grandmother's house

Alana’s grandmother was a 50 year old woman who lived a couple of streets down main street from her school. Her house was the blue wooden one with a zinc ceiling. It was fun to hear the light rain hit the zinc in a melodic way, but it would get annoying when a heavy rain would hit it making a lot of noise. The house had one small black and white tv with no cable and an old vinyl disc player with cassette player. In contrast was Aunt Lucy's house, a couple of houses down the street, in cement, colored in earth tones matching her small garden, with a home theater system that the siblings would just die to have.

That was not to say they couldn’t have fun at their grandmother’s house, where they spent most of their after school time. They would rock it old style in the living room when their grandmother was away. Lord forbid her vinyl gets scratched! They would push the brown couch and the flowery loveseat against the walls and dance around the carpet. At least he would dance, she would try to dance by twirling around and jumping. He would try to teach her the latest dance moves, but she had no sense of rhythm. The only move they would do right was the “I run into his arm and he would raise me over his head” move. They would do this until they grew tired and hungry.

The house had a small kitchen with an ugly wall paper starting to fall off. The siblings would try to pull out pieces but their grandma would yell at them when they did.

“If you can’t fix it, don’t make it worst,” she would say.

“How can we make it worst? It’s an ugly clown wall paper in a kitchen!” Alana pointed at the fading circus clown.

“Your grandaddy did love the circus,” she would say, cracking a smile when she remembered
and her grandkids just couldn’t get it. Their grandfather was a jerk, a cheat, and a whiner, yet here was their grandmother smiling at the mere mention of him.

Even now she would gather the old pots and pans hanging on the wall, light up the gas stove and cook his favorite meals which are, coincidentally Allan’s, and even Alana’s, least favorites. Alana was all for a diet filled with vegetables, just don’t add yams and batatas into the mix, Allan just hated all vegetables as a rule. But she would open her yellow cabinets and do just that for nostalgia’s sake.

But even so their grandmother was an excellent cook. Her turkey was so delicious that it will knock you out until Christmas Eve in time for a second round. She was the oldest of 14 kids and had to learn to cook delicious meals the early age nine. Both her grandkids would help her cook at times, even work together to hide the yams when it needed to be done.

And as cute as the siblings would be at times, they could also be the siblings from hell, beating each other merciless and yelling until they were tired or separated. They behaved at grandmother's house because she had a stick and she was a pretty good runner. Their grandma was very old school when it came to raising children, spoil them when they’re good, stick when they are choking each other, ignore them in the middle. So they grew to understand the meaning of “there’s a place for everything" at the early age of 9 and 8.


“I can’t believe you read my story notebook in class!” Alana said arriving from school. Her grandmother was out of ear. “When I get home I am so kicking your ass.”

“Who writes about having adventures with bunnies anyway?” He went straight for the tv.

“I do. Now the whole school is laughing at me.” Her fists were clenching her uniform. “That isn’t even your school anymore.”

“Nah. More like second and third grade. Nobody else really cares about you. I thought it would be something fun to share with my old friends.” He was cruising the local channels. Finding the right 80’s cartoon was very important to him.

She had half a mind to beat him up right there and then. Instead, she waited until they were home at the table. No use getting chased by the stick here. That was the daily dynamic between them growing up. Sometimes she wanted to kill him, sometimes he wanted to kill her, neither wanted to get beaten by a third party.

As the siblings grew up their grandmother became closer to Alana than to Allan. She taught her how to cook, how to garden and first aid with aloe vera. At times Alana would sit down and read to her as she lay on the sofa. When the fighting got really bad between the siblings, Alana would stay at her grandmother’s house.

When Alana was 11 their grandmother was starting to lose what was left of her eyesight, which worried the family immensely. Ever since the siblings were born their grandmother had been partially blind, so it was natural for them. She could still see enough to catch them in the act of their latest schemes.

At the age of forty she stopped looking clearly at the world, which would explain how she thought her husband was handsome according to everyone else. She was stuck on an impressionist’s painting. But she could still see what was around her. She could see a car coming down the street or that chair that is on her path trying to trip her.

Now she was going completely blind. Her eyes were in constant pain, crying arond the clock and her sight was gone. According to her current doctor, she needed a new cornea.

Alana: My home

One of the biggest characteristics of Alana’s family was that when they love they love hard and the wrong person. Her grandmother loved her husband until he died of old age, no matter how many times he cheated on her. Her mother, Linda, had the innate ability to find the biggest loser around and date him until it finally reaches her brain that he might be wrong for her, it usually involved a kitchen fire. As for her older brother, Allan, he gets obsessed with girls, promising the moon for them, until he gets bored and moves on... followed by the girl’s psychosis making his life hell. The only one who has had a normal relationship so far was her dear aunt with her husband. This was her whole family on her maternal side.

She didn’t know much about her dad. He comes, he goes and comes again. Her other grandma was a chain smoker who doesn’t seem to like her as far as she’s concerned. She also had uncles and aunts on this side that she never got to see so, in her reality, she only had 4 people she loves in her life.

She was born and raised in a small town, in a small island on the Carebbean. With only 2,000 people around, chances are nobody outside of that place knows it exist. The streets were in great shape, for lack of use. Unlike other places with big malls and movie theaters, they had old buildings with need of paint, most of them abandoned. There was a clothing store, a supermarket, a small movie renting place, a post office and a music store, yet they had 6 drug stores.

You could say the town was the retire home of the country. There was a lack of children and people under 50 in general, most of them being on the outer part of the town. You could find them as long as you knew where to look. Where Alana lived, there were nine kids around her age, counting her brother. Her mother hated it because of this, but they got the house as a present from grandma and they couldn’t afford another place yet.


Alana didn’t mind the place. Her hobbies were: reading, writing, and hearing music through her headphones; all of them hobbies that don’t require other people. The house was in a quiet street and her neighbors were a nice old lady and an old lady with a pretty granddaughter, as her brother quickly pointed out when the morning they moved in.

But one perk of the place she lived was the public transportation system. Being 12 years old, you couldn’t just take a car and go somewhere so Alana and Allan would just use the public transportation system to go where they pleased. They had buses, small vans, taxis, ferris, and so forth. You named a means of transportation and Alana could show you where to find it in town, except planes and helicopters of course. Plus, most kids in town had a nice bike that could take them around. On the afternoon you could see most of the kids of the town running around in the boardwalk with a beautiful view of the sea and the capital of the country full of lights and music.

Eight-year-old Alana would usually go to the boardwalk and watch the setting sun with her brother and their mutual friend Daniel. This was against the rules, kids alone at night was not something their mothers approved of, but it was one of the few rules Alana didn’t always followed. It was such a quiet uneventful town that any feeling of danger seemed imaginary, even if the world wasn’t like that.

Also, Alana’s grandmother, at this stage of my life, had filled her with all sorts of stories from her youth. How many trees she climbed, how she dived into the sea, even once jumped off the ferry and swam back shore! She didn’t think I could do all of that, but going to the boardwalk was something her grandma enjoyed that Alana had come to appreciate too.