It was a couple of weeks after school had ended. In two months Allan was going to sixth grade, I can’t believe he didn’t get left behind again, and was celebrating organizing a sleepover on the phone with Daniel; I was going to be a seventh grader, which meant a new style of uniform, and was celebrating reading the works of Benito Pérez Galdós. I hoped that Doña Perfecta was less frustrating than the end of Marienela, having grown up with a blind person made me call foul on it at the end. It was then that our mother told us that our grandmother was undergoing an operation this weekend to see if her eyesight could be saved at all. We didn’t know what to say about that.
On the day of the operation I was sitting on that waiting room along side my mother, brother and aunt. Us children were technically not supposed to be there since we were under 13, but there was nobody to take care of us so “the family that lies together grows together” and we were now waiting together for the results. Grandmother had been hours waiting to get operated and we didn’t knew where things stood.
I opened my book, I tried to read it, I closed the book. My brother was having
a similar experience with his gameboy. He tried to hide it, being older and male made him think he had to be the tough one, but it was no use.
Last time we were in an operation room I was partially responsible and it was my brother who had been under the doctor’s care. We were jumping on the bed, 5 and 4 years old respectively. He pushed me, I pushed him, he pushed me harder, so I pushed him even harder and his head went through the glass window. He survived, obviously, but with a lightning scar on his neck and not without a good scare for both of us. Since then being in a hospital has just stressed me out and I bet this is no cakewalk for him.
Allan laid down on my lap, looking for comfort and a good place to nap. I played with his hair, lulling him to sleep, and tried to take the gameboy from his pocket. He grabbed my hand and opened his eyes; I smiled, pleading for permission to take it. He sat up for a moment and handed it to me with a cassette.
He laid back on my lap trying to nap. “If you use all of the battery life you owe me new ones.”
“Yay, tetris.” was all I said.
“God, you are weird.”
After a while of playing, the doctor came out and called the adults. I saw my mother grimacing and my aunt crying. I didn’t need to hear to know the operation had failed in some way. The doctor left and the adults were now looking at each other.
“Mom won’t be able to stay at her house.” mother said. “She was already getting too old to be completely by herself. Now she won’t be able to walk two steps without falling.”
“I can’t bring her home though. I’m having a kid soon, I can’t take care of mom on top!” Aunt Lucy touched her enormous belly, making a point.
Great. Let the bickering commence.
“But your house is the best for it.” My mother raised her right hand getting ready to number her points. “You have an extra room, which we don’t, and it’s the same layout as mom’s, making it easier for her to adapt. Also, you have a husband to help you.”
“You have Allan and Alana.”
“Doesn’t count, they’re kids!”
“And my husband is a fireman. He’s barely home as it is.”
“I’ll do it!” I shouted exasperated.
Both women turned to the angry kid glaring at them.
“You’ll do what, honey?” asked mother.
“I’ll move in with grandma, so you two can just shut it.”
The sisters had a look of surprise, but with different feelings about the idea.
Aunt Lucy clapped her hands together. “That’s a great idea!”
“Oh, I bet you think so.” I watched as mother placed her hands akimbo, clearly mad at her sister. “I’m not giving up my child.”
“Alana is a responsible and smart girl, and it will be easier for mother to stay at her own house. It is the best option of all.”
“Anything but your house.”
“Anything but yours either.”
I sighed. I loved them both, but they could be aggravating at times. “Mom, I’ve decided and it is for the best. It’s better than to fight in a hospital, I’m sure grandma, the woman who is now completely blind, will appreciate it too.”
“But I’ll miss you honey.” was all mother could say in surrender. I shook her head and went back to tetris.
We all went to eat burgers at the fast food in front of the hospital. Lucy opted for a double cheese burger while mother choose a salad since, as she said in an acidic tone, “she gotta remain slim”. Allan and me could just have died at that moment.
Afterwards, it wasn’t any better. The two adults refused to talk or even look at each other, it was like being with children. This is usually fun, but this was not a little problem we were having. I tried my best to get them to talk, but Allan told me it was best to desist. It was useless to reason with them whenever they got like that. It was pretty frustrating this time.
By the time we got back we could visit grandmother one at a time. I asked if I could go first by myself, the rest the family accepted, even my mother.
I entered the room in silence. Grandmother laid on the bed, bandages on her eyes. She seemed unaware of the presence of her granddaughter that moved closer to her bed until I grabbed her hand. That action startled her.
“Who is this?”
“It’s me, grandma. Alana.”
Grandmother smiled and looked for my head. She touched my hair and face, pinching my cheek. Finally she moved my head closer, kissed me and said
“Oh. How are you dear?”
“I’m good grandma. How are you?”
“Oh. I’m fine. Alive at least.” She was now rocking softly in place. “Just praying to God for guidance. He always provides.”
“I’m sure he does.” I held my tongue when it came to the rest of the comment. This wasn’t the moment to point out that for all her prayer through the years for her eyes, she had just become worst.
“It’s kinda sad that I won’t see at all the wonderful people my grandkids will become, but the lord at least has allowed me to live it, and that is more important.”
“You know grandma” I tried to change the topic to the matter at hand. “Mom and aunt Lucy were arguing over what you should do now that you are like this.”
Her face now peeked with interest. “They did?”
“Yeah. You know them. It was like that time with the doll, or the boyfriend, or the purse. They were arguing over who got to keep you. Lots of bickering and me, me, me.”
“Geez, don’t I get a say?”
I giggled a bit. “Well, you know them. I actually had to break up the fight proposing a juste-milieu, if you will?”
“A what now?” grandmother said with an eyebrow raised. She didn’t seem to like or understand the sound of that.
I took her shaky hands and squeezed them. “Juste-millieu. I think it’s supposed to mean a middle ground, grandma. In this case an option that would keep them from arguing.”
“Ah. And what is that?”
“That I move in with you when you get out of here.”
Grandmother was speechless. She seemed so small for a moment. After all this time, she hadn’t expected that from anybody.
“Oh. But it must be boring and... and... “uncool”, as the kids say, to live
with a blind old lady in an old house.”
I patted her head and said “It’s ok grandma. I’m already boring and uncool.
You can ask Allan if you don’t believe me. We’ll have lots of boring fun and you won’t be alone anymore.”
Grandmother wrapped her arms around me and started to cry. She was thanking God and praying. Seeing her that happy made all regrets vanish from my mind. This might not be so bad after all.
